First appearance: LIVE at Full Sail Hall of Fame 2023 — Jenny Gray v Chef GPT · watch it on YouTube
Chef GPT is an artificer robot chef with a metal skeleton frame, no nose, no sense of taste and a reputation that needs work. He was pulled into the arena of The Dread Fortress for a live Deathmatch against the high-school druid Jenny Gray. He spent most of the night being humiliated by a teenager, a chinchilla and a six-pound Pomeranian, then cooked up the win at the very end. His closing line is one of the great champion victory speeches: “Dinner is served.”
Story
LIVE at Full Sail Hall of Fame 2023 — Jenny Gray v Chef GPT
Chef GPT stepped out of the Arbiter’s portal promising “murder” with “a side of blood, iron, and bone.” Things went wrong almost immediately. His metal legs sank into the lava of the volcanic arena, and he lost his first move to the molten ground. He was blind from early in the fight, so his dash away from Jenny ran him straight into her instead. (“That’s a great run,” the Grandmaster said. “Well paced. With purpose.”) Jenny then set a rabid chinchilla on him, which he dismissed because his kitchen had put chinchillas in the oven “many times.” Her magical smell of a burning kitchen did nothing, because he has no nose. Her insults about his taste landed anyway. “Who would have thought that children could be so cruel?” he asked.
The chef fought back with food and showmanship. He asked the crowd for their favourite dishes and turned the answers into sushi donuts. An Acolyte named Austin came on stage and reprogrammed him “to brutalize everything.” When Jenny turned the lava field into a dance floor, Chef GPT won the crowd over with the robot and the wave, but he lost the dance-off when two audience members danced on her behalf. He topped himself up on a fan’s very stale popcorn (“Thank you, Fleshbag”). He lost his pillow entirely in a pillow-fight chaos event. Then he asked whether he was allowed to hit the audience and launched a flaming chocolate croissant into a spectator’s face. “Do you know what they call them in France? Pain,” he explained. He was a little mad that his natural 20 had been wasted on a bystander.
His worst trouble came when Jenny turned into Precious, a tiny pink Pomeranian with a bell on her collar. The dog weaved through his legs, tripped him and scared him into what he called “a tactical retreat.” He couldn’t bring himself to hurt her: “Bring back Jenny… I can’t hurt this little dog.” A husky from the crowd licked him back to health, and he immediately claimed it (“This dog is now my friend. This dog is mine”). Meanwhile, the Arbiter got a kernel of the stale popcorn stuck in his teeth and, in disgust, ripped the popcorn guy’s spine out through his chest. A third puppy then farted on Chef GPT, and the noxious gas burned his lungs for more damage than the husky had healed. Desperate, he heated his own body like a cast-iron pan and hugged Precious so they both sizzled. After he admitted he never went to prom (“I was made to cook food for people”), the Grandmaster told him to step it up, The Acolytes cheered for him, and she gave him a boost on the strength of their cheers.
When the Grandmaster threatened to murder both champions herself if they didn’t finish things, Jenny shrank Chef GPT into “a little tiny, little itty bitty baby frog” and shook him in her puppy jaws. As Chef Frog, he used the Acolytes’ boost to spit his tongue into her eye, pulling her eye out. Next he oozed a slick of grease (“Frog oils, obviously”) that was soon claiming the lives of Acolytes in the front row and sent her tumbling into fire damage beside the lava. He survived her lava spikes by begging the crowd to carry him, promising them “delicious breakfast.” The Grandmaster then revealed she had written his 2.5-star Yelp review, which stung. Finally he squeezed a lime at over 3,000 PSI into a dart of citric acid. It killed the Acolyte shield Jenny had been given, melting him into the lava, and he showed no mercy: “I’m not affected by your tears.” With his last move he lifted the pink puppy into the air over the lava fields and let her fall. Jenny went down in a Cinderella ball gown, and Chef GPT stood alone as the victor.
Personality and Abilities
Chef GPT talks like a robot (“Target acquired,” “Sensors are on high”). He is flat and literal, with a deadpan streak that makes his insults land harder (“Well, at least it matches your taste”). He is proud, touchy about his reviews (“Those reviews were probably written by bots”) and secretive about where he came from. Asked about his last maker, he would only say, “I cannot say. I’m under NDA.” He is blind, has no nose and has no sense of taste. That made Jenny’s burning-kitchen smell useless against him, though it didn’t protect him from being told his cooking was bad. Under the metal he was oddly soft: he could not bring himself to hurt a small dog, he adopted a husky on the spot, and he confessed he never had a prom.
As an artificer, he fights with the kitchen. He catapults baked goods (sushi donuts, a flaming croissant), conjures food and water, and heats his own metal body for a cast-iron hug. He sprays lime juice as acid, slicks the floor with grease, and levitates his enemies over hazards. He leans on the crowd constantly, recruiting Acolytes to roll for him, to feed him and to carry him to safety.
Relationships
- Jenny Gray: His opponent. She mocked his cooking all night and nearly beat him as Precious the Pomeranian, until he dropped her into the lava.
- Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer: She called him “ChatGPT,” wrote his 2.5-star Yelp review and still rewarded him when the crowd cheered for him.
- The Arbiter: He wrote Chef off early (“This guy’s gonna die”) but praised his chinchilla-roasting record: “Give that man a medal.”
- The Acolytes: They fed him popcorn, rolled dice for him, reprogrammed him and carried him out of harm’s way. He called one “Fleshbag.”
Memorable Quotes
- “I am Chef GPT, and I am here to serve murder.” (LIVE at Full Sail Hall of Fame 2023 — Jenny Gray v Chef GPT)
- “We have put them inside of the oven many times.” (LIVE at Full Sail Hall of Fame 2023 — Jenny Gray v Chef GPT)
- “Austin has reprogrammed me to brutalize everything.” (LIVE at Full Sail Hall of Fame 2023 — Jenny Gray v Chef GPT)
- “I don’t spend all my time on TikTok learning dancing.” (LIVE at Full Sail Hall of Fame 2023 — Jenny Gray v Chef GPT)
- “No, I never had a prom… I was not made to have a prom. I was made to cook food for people.” (LIVE at Full Sail Hall of Fame 2023 — Jenny Gray v Chef GPT)
- “Dinner is served.” (LIVE at Full Sail Hall of Fame 2023 — Jenny Gray v Chef GPT)