First appearance: S2E8 — Father’s Love — Dadrith v Baron Voltágè · watch it on YouTube
Dadrith, “dad of dads,” is a cleric who wanders the multiverse spreading the ideals of fatherhood and collecting the finest dad jokes in existence. Pulled into the Void to fight Baron Voltágè, he spent the whole Deathmatch alternating between smiting his opponent and telling him how proud he was of him. He won, wept for the man he had beaten, and left the arena with the entire crowd calling him Dad.
Story
S2E8 — Father’s Love — Dadrith v Baron Voltágè
The Arbiter introduced him, and Dadrith announced himself at once: “I am Dadrith, dad of dads. I bring the ideals of fatherhood all across the multiverse and I’m here today to teach you a lesson, son.” Baron bristled at being called “son,” and the Grandmaster, who had laid her own father to rest centuries ago, briefly wondered aloud whether Dadrith was her father before deciding he wasn’t. His creed was simple: any would-be father who fails to live up to the ideals of fatherhood “faces my wrath.” The Grandmaster was so charmed by his puns that she let him roll the opening chaos for the arena, a small island on the back of an eternal turtle swimming through The endless sea. Within moments, the sand under both champions’ feet grew as hot as lava.
Dadrith pointed at the sky and commanded “Sun, come forth,” and his “son” appeared: a radiant celestial with a slow-motion Fabio hair flick and, at the Grandmaster’s suggestion, a floral Hawaiian shirt. He summoned a rolled-up newspaper to swat at Baron and hurled a dad joke that burst into holy light (“you can’t run past tense”). Most of it glanced off Baron’s ever-expanding electric armor, and when his son’s coconut-tipped mace missed three times, Dadrith told it gently, “It’s okay, son. I’m not angry. I’m just disappointed.” The Arbiter tossed him his own black Chuck Taylors to speed him up. Dadrith then shattered Baron’s mirror images with “Dispel is Dispel,” after The Acolytes threw popcorn and voted to give him luck. He also fed his crossbow to The Box of Chaos, which gave him a pair of winged boots (“I’m sorry, referee. I will be wearing the boots instead”), and he soared up to meet the now-flying Baron, had the newspaper spank him on the feet, and watched his son land a devastating critical blow with the coconut that sent Baron’s blood pouring down into the sand.
After the break, Dadrith decided he had been “overwhelmed” and changed tactics. He turned the newspaper into a wizened, spectacled father who offered wise words, and he gave Baron a sincere pep talk: “You make me proud no matter what, even if you do miss.” Baron, coughing up blood and tucking his guts back into his armor, answered by diving into the Box of Chaos and sacrificing his own soul, emerging with the Ring of Three Wishes and wishing his wounds away. Dadrith kept killing him with kindness, and his first mace hit of the night was a natural 20, wreathed in holy fire. Then a storm broke over the arena, the Arbiter cranked up the gravity, and the eternal turtle sank. Both champions plunged into the sea, where circling sharks tore the beloved son to shreds.
Baron struck with an enormous bolt of wish-powered lightning, and Dadrith only quipped, “Let’s heat things up.” When Baron vanished into the murky depths, Dadrith’s “dad vision” spotted him with another natural 20, and an ethereal grill descended to cook Baron inside his own metal armor. As Baron sank, Dadrith’s face went stoic and sad, and “surrounded by salt water, he adds to the salt water with his own tears.” He begged Moxie and the Eternal Fathers to take him instead and guide Baron onto a better path. The dads did not answer, and he swam after the body anyway, pleading, “You are someone’s son. Hold on. Don’t give up.” Baron gave him one last scowl, coughed blood into the water, and drifted into the dark, and Dadrith rose victorious before the Acolytes. He did not know the twist: Baron had used his final wish to clone himself inside a shark, which beached itself on the turtle 120 days later, and a cloned Baron burst out of its stomach.
Personality and Abilities
Dadrith is relentlessly, almost aggressively supportive. He praises his summons, encourages his enemy, and treats every exchange as a teachable moment, punctuated with lines like “Daddy’s coming!” and “I’m proud of you, son.” Beneath the puns is real feeling: he was the one who wept over his fallen opponent and offered his own life in exchange. He travels the multiverse hunting for the best dad jokes, which he insists “are passed down from dad to dad.” At the table, his player admitted the name came from a random name generator, and the whole character grew out of it.
In battle he fights with mace and shield, calls down holy fire on his strikes, and shrugs off a good deal of magic. His spells all wear a dad costume. The “dad point” is a finger-jab of light meant to distract a foe, the flying rolled-up newspaper is there for spanking, his celestial “son” wields a coconut, his blast of radiance is delivered as a dad joke, and his dispelling magic and searing heat come as a pun and an ethereal grill. He also has “dad vision,” which can track a foe hiding in deep water. From the Box of Chaos he gained winged boots that let him fly.
Relationships
- Baron Voltágè: his opponent, whom he tried to father, defeated, wept over, and tried to save with his own life; Baron secretly survived.
- Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer: delighted by his puns, she let him roll the opening chaos and widened the odds on his desperate prayer.
- The Arbiter: lent Dadrith his black Chuck Taylors to speed him up, though Dadrith chose to wear his winged boots instead.
- The Acolytes: voted luck his way during the fight and ended it chanting “Dad! Dad!”
Memorable Quotes
“It’s okay, son. I’m not angry. I’m just disappointed.” (S2E8 — Father’s Love)
- “Everyone that tries to be a father that does not live up to the ideals of fatherhood faces my wrath.” (S2E8 — Father’s Love)
- “I learned today that you can’t run through a campground. Do you know why, Baron?… But you can’t run past tense.” (S2E8 — Father’s Love)
- “I’m so proud of your growth now that you’ve sold your soul and you have a ring. You’re quite amazing. I unfortunately have to hit you with my mace.” (S2E8 — Father’s Love)
- “Come. You are someone’s son. Hold on. Don’t give up.” (S2E8 — Father’s Love)
“You can all call me Dad!” (S2E8 — Father’s Love)