First appearance: S1 Ep1 — Ditch Em’ Darrell v Eshrinn · watch it on YouTube
Eshrinn is a cobra-hooded snake-woman and self-proclaimed “master of spells and poisons.” She fought in the very first Deathmatch ever staged for the Grandmaster. She tried to win by making friends with her opponent, Ditch Em’ Darrell, and then used that friendship against him. It nearly worked. She died in a pile of gold at the end of the fight, but the Arbiter quietly sank her body through the gold into his secret lair and revived her, telling her he had “a plan for you.”
Story
Eshrinn was one of the two champions the Arbiter brought before the Grandmaster in her throne room in the Dread Fortress for S1 Ep1 — Ditch Em’ Darrell v Eshrinn. She introduced herself with practiced disdain for her rival: “You are simple. I am experienced.” She also told the Grandmaster that she was worthy of Eshrinn’s love and respect, more so than Hocum and Grocom. The Arbiter bet on Darrell. The Grandmaster picked Eshrinn on principle, because whenever the Arbiter chooses something, she always picks the opposite.
The fight took place in the Gilded Thresh Hollow, a secret cavern where waterfalls of gold and gems poured over a floor of coins, watched by hordes of Acolytes in the stands throwing popcorn. Eshrinn made the grandest entrance she could. She snake-flipped off a ledge, struck a vogue pose and catwalked across the gold like it was fashion week, scattering colored vials until her own tail flipped her cloak over her head (she pretended nobody saw). Then she beguiled Darrell into adoring her and coaxed the Hollow’s jewel-like gem beetles to cover her like sequins, so she shimmered “like a chandelier.” The Acolytes split their cheers between the two champions and rewarded each of them.
Things got strange fast. The floor turned into a bouncy castle, and the Arbiter swooped in on glowing white wings to hit her with a rusty metal chair. She twisted so it only stung her tail. Eshrinn bounced over to the still-smitten Darrell with a simple pitch: “Isn’t it easier to just be friends?” He gave her a golden pinky ring he had dug out of the treasure. She ate one of her beetles, which was poisonous but harmless to her, though it cracked a tooth. Then she secretly dropped the ring into a vial of mysterious green liquid. The Arbiter grew bored of all the friendliness and broke the spell on Darrell by bouncing a gold coin off his head.
At the Grandmaster’s signal, a giant dragon rose from beneath the gold with both champions on its back and flew them out over snowy mountains. Darrell woke up furious (“How dare you, Essie?”). Eshrinn calmly offered the ring back: “Your Arbiter may not give you any rings, but I will.” The vial had cursed it with uncontrollable laughter, and Darrell collapsed in giggles while she spat acid on him. Once the Arbiter helped him break free, Darrell hit her hard with his axe, Ramona, and Eshrinn’s arrogance turned to anger. She blinded him with a burst of color, hurled a shard of ice, shot him with a poison dart from her blowgun, and talked him out onto the dragon’s wing. When the Arbiter flipped the dragon upside down and lightning struck them both, she flicked him a shiny, heroic-looking coin as thanks. Her ice shard then exploded at Darrell’s grip and sent him plunging. A moment later she lost her own hold, and both champions crashed into the golden pit.
Darrell got back up and pinned her tail under his boot. Eshrinn slipped away in a blink and scaled thirty feet of cliff. The Grandmaster threatened to throw the Arbiter into the fight if nobody bled soon, so he grabbed Eshrinn with a giant magical hand and dropped her right in front of Darrell. She hit him with a cloud of poison and dashed away, but Darrell landed a perfect shot with the blast he fires from Ramona’s pommel, and it killed her. He kissed her scaly forehead and told her, “We could have been something. It would have been horrific and beautiful.” While the Grandmaster addressed the crowd, the Arbiter walked over to Eshrinn’s body and snapped his fingers. It sank through the gold into his secret lair, full of beakers and arcane equipment. He tapped her chest and brought her back to life: “I’ve got a plan for you.”
Personality and Abilities
Eshrinn is “pretty much snake from the shoulders up,” with an ornately patterned cobra hood, a forked tongue and a tail. She wears a hooded cloak and carries a bag of colored vials and a blowgun. She is vain, theatrical and supremely sure of herself, and she treats a deathmatch like a runway. Under the glamour she is a schemer. Her whole plan was to kill her opponent with kindness and then turn his affection into a trap.
She fights with charm and poison more than force. She can bend minds, befriend animals, blind with color, conjure ice and spit acid. Poison cannot hurt her, so she can snack on venomous beetles without a second thought. She is also an excellent climber (“Apparently snakes do climb”) and can vanish from one spot to another when cornered.
Relationships
- Ditch Em’ Darrell: Her opponent. She charmed and befriended him, betrayed him with a cursed ring, and was killed by him. He mourned what they “could have been.”
- The Arbiter: He hit her with a chair, got her thank-you coin, and dropped her in front of Darrell. Then he secretly revived her, with “a plan” for her.
- Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer: Backed Eshrinn to win, largely to spite the Arbiter. Eshrinn professed her love and respect for her.
Memorable Quotes
- “You are simple. I am experienced.” (S1 Ep1 — Ditch Em’ Darrell v Eshrinn)
- “Who knew that refrigerated cigarette machines with heads are my thing?” (S1 Ep1)
- “Isn’t it easier to just be friends?” (S1 Ep1)
- “Your Arbiter may not give you any rings, but I will.” (S1 Ep1)