First appearance: Full Sail Hall of Fame 2025 (live show), Ringmaster Talon v Maximilian Maxwell III
Ringmaster Talon is a very tall, masked showman drenched in blood. He runs a circus for a lich and fights with a scythe and blood magic. At the Full Sail Hall of Fame live show he faced the obscenely rich Maximilian Maxwell III. He died, was revived for cash, and died again in the same match. His last enemy was a storm of canned soup.
Story
The Arbiter introduced him as “a figure known for his bloodshed and carnage, Ringmaster Talos,” but for the rest of Full Sail Hall of Fame 2025 (live show), Ringmaster Talon v Maximilian Maxwell III everyone called him Talon. He arrived so soaked in gore that the Grandmaster claimed to have lost her nostril hairs, and he admitted he hadn’t washed his clothes in twelve years. He boasted of “the greatest job in the world,” running a circus for Lichter the Lich, and promised the Acolytes the blood they craved. Things went wrong at once. He bounced his opening roll off the stage lights and rolled badly, and the Grandmaster told him, “Talon, you are such a disappointment to me.” She then made him hop on one leg as punishment.
Max opened by Rockette-kicking him, which only reached Talon’s waist. Then Max hurled a paid volunteer at him feet-first, and the pair spun across the arena like a tornado. Talon got his best moment when Max bit his thumb at him and he shrugged off the insult with a perfect 20. His comeback was savage: “Is that what your dad did when he left?” His own offence was gorier than it was effective. He drained three Acolytes of their blood, which poured out through every orifice until they dropped dead. A splinter of spine then flew back into his own eye, and he gambled on keeping his mounting battle weariness instead of shaking it off. The Grandmaster’s verdict was blunt: “Oh Talon, you are so stupid. Please tell no one that you graduated from Full Sail University.” He insisted he totally did. The murder unicorns of The Dread Fortress then gored everyone, and he was one bad roll from death.
In the second round he unmasked, to the Arbiter’s cry of “What a hideous face!” Max tried to smash a book across it, but Talon fended it off. Max then went after his knees, and the attack on the second one was the fifth and fatal blow of weariness. The Grandmaster called him to centre stage and pulled his own blood to his fingertips until he collapsed. Then she held his heart still and asked whether there was any reason to keep him alive. Max paid her to spare him, because he was enjoying the humiliation too much to stop. She counted the money, was pleased, and drove Talon’s own scythe into his heart to restart it. Talon’s response was a weary “Not again!” The Arbiter then sent black goo up both champions’ noses and down their throats, and drained Max’s life force into Talon until they stood evenly matched.
With his second life, Talon’s luck briefly turned. His side of the egg chaos event held 40,000 of the 50,000 Void Bucks, which hurt Max badly. Talon caught a giant food truck that was hurled at him and summoned a hundred-foot blood tsunami. Max’s hired roller answered with two dirty 20s back to back, and the wave washed out. Finally the Grandmaster had the whole crowd donate their blood to him, which the Arbiter called “a blood spirit bomb.” Talon at last landed a hit that left Max bleeding, and the Grandmaster sped up time to make the bleed take Max to the brink. Max, hungry and thinking of his mother’s SpaghettiOs, had his Acolytes throw “hundreds on hundreds of soup cans.” Talon was pelted bloody. His final thought was:
“At least it’s chicken noodle.”
Personality and Abilities
Talon is towering, layered in black, and masked. The mask is “part of the work uniform,” though the Arbiter suspected he stole the outfit from Darth Maul. Underneath is a face the Arbiter called hideous, with grey eyes. When the Grandmaster asked whether his mother was blind, he allowed that “she might be,” though he insisted his family loves him. He is a showman first, rallying the crowd to scream his name “as loud as you bloody can,” and a reckless gambler second. He keeps rolling the dice on his own survival because the crowd tells him to.
Lichter the Lich taught him to raise the dead and to work blood magic. In the arena that meant spitting blood, siphoning it from bystanders, raining it from the sky and calling up tidal waves of it. He reads his spells from scrolls and swings a scythe that gleams silver “in the sunlight, moonlight, whatever light we have.” After Max’s knee attacks he walked with a cane.
Relationships
- Maximilian Maxwell III: His opponent and killer, who also paid to bring him back to life purely to keep humiliating him.
- Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer: She found him a constant disappointment, killed him with his own blood, and revived him once the price was right.
- The Arbiter: He balanced the fight by draining Max’s life force into Talon, then sold advantages to whoever had the bigger stack of money.
- The Acolytes: He drained three of them to death. Later the whole crowd gave him their blood, and he blamed one of them for the gamble that nearly killed him.
- Lichter the Lich: His employer and teacher, who runs the circus and taught him blood magic. The Grandmaster quipped, “That’s my grandma, though.”
Memorable Quotes
- “I haven’t washed my clothes in 12 years.” (Full Sail Hall of Fame 2025)
- “I run a circus… a circus for Lichter the Lich.” (Full Sail Hall of Fame 2025)
- “Is that what your dad did when he left?” (Full Sail Hall of Fame 2025)
- “Not again!” (Full Sail Hall of Fame 2025)
- “I can’t die to soup cans, right?” (Full Sail Hall of Fame 2025)
- “At least it’s chicken noodle.” (Full Sail Hall of Fame 2025)