First appearance: S2E3 — A Lovers’ Quarrel — Lethe v Sorry · watch it on YouTube
Sorry is a six-foot-five satyr, a Strixhaven graduate and a wild magic barbarian whose rage summons pixies that explode into glitter. She was dragged into the Void to fight her ex, Lethe, in a match the Arbiter billed as “a lover’s quarrel.” What began as a duel to the death turned into tears, a confession and a rare Deathmatch where love won. She cannot tell a lie, and until that night she did not know that was a curse.
Story
Sorry arrived in S2E3 — A Lovers’ Quarrel — Lethe v Sorry with no idea how she got there. The last thing she remembered was a dungeon, where she had been leading a field trip of “little ones.” Waiting for her was Lethe, who had left her years earlier after Sorry told them they weren’t cut out for wizard school. (“It’s not that you weren’t smart enough. It’s just I didn’t think that you could do it.”) She introduced herself to The Acolytes by explaining that she knew exactly one spell, comprehend languages, and that she cast it by eating the paper. She had passed every test at Strixhaven by regurgitating information, sometimes literally, and one essay on bugbears “kinda didn’t sit very well.” The Grandmaster called the fight “the final exam” and opened her private winter town as the arena, a snowbound Hallmark postcard of a place. At the mere mention of breaking buildings, Sorry’s eyes went wide and she cracked her knuckles: “I think you’re gonna have to prove yourself… sweetheart.”
She opened with pure showboating. She vaulted clean over Lethe and pulled a face at them on the way down, then punched a bolted door, which held. That only set off her rage, and a pixie spirit spun into being over Lethe’s head, making the same face. The pixies kept coming all fight long, bursting into soft blue, pink and creamy white glitter. Lethe pointed out that glitter never comes out. Sorry, shield bearing the emblem of her college, Lorehold, grinned: “Plenty more where that came from.” Lethe hit back with surprises. They had learned dark magic that turned the glitter into clinging ice, and when Sorry winked and blew them a kiss, they flung her thirty feet across the snow with their mind. Sorry had never seen Lethe cast a spell before. She was shocked, and maybe a little impressed.
The fight kept wandering into feelings. Goblins burst out of the floor trying to kidnap both champions for ransom. One, Kenny, swung a scimitar at her because “Kenny’s got to pay his rent,” and Sorry brushed him off with “Sorry, little one, I’m busy.” She asked the Grandmaster if she could pet Doug the Pug after the match, and the winner was promised a pet and a walk with him. When a potion shop’s shelves exploded, Sorry dodged every drop of the spray. She came up holding a healing potion, only to find Lethe had thrown their body over hers to shield her. Locked blade to blade, she sniffed them and asked if they’d changed shampoo, then said “Never mind!” When the Grandmaster and The Arbiter dove from the stands to clobber the champions with metal chairs, Sorry finally admitted: “I don’t think I’m really having fun anymore.”
She landed her first real blow, and as she pulled back the bloody sword she looked almost regretful. Then her wild magic flared into rainbow protective lights, and Sorry began ugly crying while still swinging her sword wildly and shouting “I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” Lethe stepped back and asked if she actually wanted to. Out it all came. She wasn’t an adventurer, she was “a glorified babysitter,” and she had kids lost in a dungeon somewhere. Lethe confessed that they had meant to ask her to run away with the carnival, but thought she meant they didn’t fit together. Sorry lowered her sword: “Of course you don’t fit in at Strixhaven. You’re better than all of them.” Since she can’t lie, Lethe knew she meant it. The Grandmaster had been eavesdropping, and she made the Box of Chaos vanish rather than let it offer an easy way out. She declared that “today, love will win,” and let the pair stay in her winter retreat for as long as they needed, with the Arbiter to return them to whatever time they chose. Sorry wiped snot off her face and earned a tiny forehead kiss, her deer tail wagging. Then she grabbed Lethe’s hand and left as one of two champions, with Doug barking for double the walkies.
Personality and Abilities
Sorry is tall, ripped and handsome in a way Lethe’s own player openly admired. She has long deer-like legs, a little deer tail, a deep V-neck and a collection of colorful scarves. She fights with a very long sword and a Lorehold shield. As a wild magic barbarian, her rage conjures exploding glitter pixies, and her magic can bolster her strikes or wrap her in multicolored protective light. She dodges well, leaps theatrically, and sometimes tries something “way too fancy” that misses entirely.
She is easygoing, cocky and fond of a flirty jab. She also cannot tell lies, which makes her an accidental truth-teller. By her own description she is “by default an aggressive crybaby.” She takes hydration and self-care very seriously (“every real fighter knows that the power comes from hydration”). After the fight she offered the Acolytes advice: therapy is great, and in the meantime punching a few doors is fine. She’d read something similar on a piece of paper, “and, you know, I ate that.”
Relationships
- Lethe: Her ex from Strixhaven days. They fought to the death, then reconciled, and went off together to “deal with our curses.”
- Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer: Declared Sorry and Lethe joint champions and let them stay in her private winter retreat.
- The Arbiter: Hyped the “lover’s quarrel,” hit Lethe with a chair, and will return the pair home to whatever time they choose.
- Doug the Pug: Sorry begged to pet him after the match and won the right to walk him.
- Kenny: A rent-strapped goblin who tried to kidnap her mid-fight and was politely ignored.
Memorable Quotes
“Of course you don’t fit in at Strixhaven. You’re better than all of them.” (S2E3)
- “I only know one spell and it is called comprehend languages… the way that I do that is by eating the paper.” (S2E3)
- “Listen, I can bang on this all day long. I’ve got the stamina. Can you keep up?” (S2E3)
- “Are you using a different shampoo?… Never mind!” (S2E3)
- “I’m not an adventurer… I’m a glorified babysitter.” (S2E3)
- “This spontaneous behavior that you’re exhibiting right now, it’s a nice look on you.” (S2E3)