First appearance: S2E3 — A Lovers’ Quarrel — Lethe v Sorry · watch it on YouTube
Lethe is a seven-foot Goliath of the Witchlight Carnival, pulled from their sleep into the Void to fight their ex-partner Sorry in S2E3 — A Lovers’ Quarrel — Lethe v Sorry. They arrived grim, armed with a huge halberd and a fresh stock of dark magic, determined to prove they were good enough. They left holding Sorry’s hand, as one of the rare Champions to be crowned victor alongside their opponent.
Story
The Grandmaster had grown sick of Hallmark romances and wanted “true romance… love and heat and fire,” so The Arbiter brought her a lovers’ quarrel instead. Lethe woke in the arena wondering if it was “another carnival trick,” only to find Sorry, the satyr they had dated years before, standing in front of them. The old wound reopened at once. During the week the carnival visited Strixhaven, Lethe had waited outside Sorry’s potion class, and Sorry had told them they couldn’t make it at wizard school. Lethe took that to mean the two of them didn’t fit together, and they left without asking her to come along. Before The Acolytes, Lethe introduced themself with flat pride: they could move things with their mind and with their arms, being “seven feet fucking tall,” and they reckoned that beat reading books.
The fight took place in the Grandmaster’s private winter town. Lethe had a rough start. Sorry vaulted clean over their head, a wild-magic pixie hovered above them pulling faces, and a Mad Hatter scrambled both champions across the town. Lethe steadied themself, let their own shadow climb up their body and harden into a dark carapace, and swatted the pixie into the distance like a baseball. Then they led Sorry into a magic potion shop that looked uncomfortably like Strixhaven, planted their glaive and waited. When a pixie burst over them in a glitter bomb, Lethe sighed that “glitter never comes out.” They turned the glitter into clinging dark ice with a hex, a trick Sorry had never seen from them. A burst of telekinesis flung her thirty feet, a little too far, because Lethe was still flustered by the kiss Sorry had blown at them. The fight kept going sideways. When the shop’s bottles exploded, Lethe threw their body over Sorry on pure reflex, then insisted they were doing “Nothing! We’re fighting to the death.” Sorry sniffed them mid-clinch and asked about their new shampoo. A long-armed goblin from the lurking Goblins pinned Lethe in a hostage barter and walked off with their hand axes and their flask of cranberry juice. The goblin passed over the song horn, which he could tell was precious.
The turn came when the Grandmaster spoke into Lethe’s head and told them to trust their heart and act with confidence. Lethe did something they had never done before. They took on the form of dread granted by their undead patron. Their white tattoos glowed into a map of their own skeleton and shining tears ran down their face as they declared, “I was never good enough for you. And this, I’m good enough for this.” Even then, every hit that drew blood left Lethe hesitating. When Sorry broke down sobbing in a halo of rainbow light, the colors reminded Lethe of the carnival’s lights, and of the question they had never asked. They stepped back and asked whether either of them actually wanted to kill the other, or whether they were only doing it “because those two weird gods pulled us into a pocket dimension and told us to.”
That question opened everything up. Lethe confessed they had wanted to ask Sorry to join the carnival. Sorry, still crying, told them they didn’t fit at Strixhaven because “You’re better than all of them.” Lethe’s glowing bones faded into a blush. They admitted they had spent years trying to prove themself instead of deciding who they wanted to be: “I decided to just be angry.” They suggested reaching into The Box of Chaos to escape and start over together. The eavesdropping Grandmaster made the box vanish, because closure and safety were things they could only find together. She declared that “today, love will win,” and with the Arbiter she offered them her winter retreat to stay in for as long as they needed. Afterward the Arbiter would return them to whatever time they chose. Lethe kissed Sorry on the forehead and told her they had always found her crying cute, and both were proclaimed champions. In the after-show, Lethe offered the Acolytes some advice: “you have to remind yourself who you want to be. And sometimes that means saying sorry.”
Personality and Abilities
Lethe is towering and severe. They have bluish-gray skin, thick white tattoos across the face and arms, and a small tuft of white hair pulled back. Their eyes were once yellow and are now completely white, and tiny motes of light pop off them and fade. They claim to have no sense of humor, and they spent most of the fight dryly unimpressed by the gods, the goblins and the glitter. Underneath that, they are deeply sentimental. They carry a soft, flute-like song horn that they play quietly when alone, “a soft instrument for a very not soft person.” They also admit they were never very agile, which the exploding pixies punished again and again.
In battle Lethe swings a huge halberd with both ends, locks weapons with their foes and shoves them around with telekinesis. Since the breakup they have learned dark magic: a hardened carapace made from their own shadow, and a hex that sticks to its target. They can shrug off heavy blows and push through exhaustion. Their patron’s form of dread turns their tattoos into a glowing skeleton that can knit their bones back together, and it always makes them cry glowing tears.
Relationships
- Sorry: Lethe’s ex from Strixhaven days, opponent in the arena, and by the end their partner again.
- Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer: She guided Lethe to “trust your heart,” then crowned them co-champion and let them stay at her winter retreat.
- The Arbiter: He staged the reunion, hit Lethe with a metal chair, and agreed to send them home to any time they wished.
- Doug the Pug: As a victor, Lethe earned the right to pet and walk him, which meant double the walkies for Doug.
- Goblins: They took Lethe hostage and swapped their freedom for hand axes and cranberry juice.
Memorable Quotes
- “I can move things with my mind. I can move things with my arms. I am after all seven feet fucking tall.” (S2E3)
- “You were so soft, Sorry. I was afraid I’d break you in half.” (S2E3)
- “I was never good enough for you. And this, I’m good enough for this.” (S2E3)
- “Do you want to, or are we just trying to kill each other because those two weird gods pulled us into a pocket dimension and told us to?” (S2E3)
- “I decided to just be angry.” (S2E3)
- “Maybe we complement each other pretty well.” (S2E3)