Goblins

First appearance: Skypiercer Part 3 (finale)

The Goblins are the beating, slightly sticky heart of The Dread Fortress. They scrub the toilets, run the sound, carry the paintings, bake the cheesecakes (badly), hold the Grandmaster’s popcorn, and haul the bodies off the arena floor when a Deathmatch is done. Few in the Void have suffered more for the show, and when they applaud, it is only “because they have to.” Over the years they have been bald, unionized, mind-controlled, slaughtered and handed pet insurance, and they keep coming back to work anyway.

Story

In the Days of Faucius

The goblins’ service goes back further than the Deathmatches themselves. In Skypiercer Part 3 (finale), goblins were already servants of the Dread Fortress in the time of Faucius Golden Shield, the Grandmaster’s father. Rulers came and went, and the goblins stayed.

The First Deathmatches

By the time the arena opened its doors, the goblins were already doing much of the work behind the scenes. In Playtest 4 they cleaned up and ran the sound. In Magic they brought the champions to the throne room. Their regular post, as of Multiclass, was cleaning the stadium toilets.

Their duties only grew from there. In The 2v2 the Grandmaster’s servants worked as soap-opera actors and finger-counters, and held her footstool, her popcorn and her soda. In Wild Magic they took care of Doug. In Fireballs they carried paintings and made up the train workforce, which was slow.

Gift Horse credited them with helping build the Dread Fortress, and they were promptly proposed as blood-cleaners. The same episode gave Cosmonius his own entourage of “tech goblins” who followed him everywhere. By Feast there were nearly forty goblins in the Fortress. They proved to be poor decorators, and as bakers they had misunderstood cheesecake on a fundamental level. At the start of Snow-clad, the Grandmaster worked her way through handshakes with “two lines of goblins.”

Kidnappers, Rent and HR

A Lovers’ Quarrel showed the goblins at their most chaotic. They scurried to pick up a fallen TV. Kidnapper goblins lurked in the floor tiles, and one of them made off with Lethe’s flask and hand axes. A scimitar-wielding goblin had a very practical reason to be there:

“Kenny’s got to pay his rent.”

That goblin was Kenny. The same episode introduced HR, a small, frightened goblin hiding in the corner, which is about what anyone would expect of HR in a death arena.

During the Battle for the Crown, the goblins worked as the Grandmaster’s curtain crew and applauded on cue, “because they have to.”

Unions and Uprisings

Season 3 gave the goblins pets and organized labour. In Kill em with Kindness they turned out to be the owners of the Chinchillas, and were described as prone to jealousy and uprisings. By Couples Therapy they were renovating the Fortress, backed by a strong Goblin Union. They also served as kitchen staff and platter carriers in Severed Limbs, and carried the Grandmaster’s charcuterie board in Sunday Slam.

The Season 3 Finale was the goblins’ darkest day. Two of them stood out: Nathaniel, the smallest goblin, with pink orc-skull face paint and a chinchilla covered in hearts, and Thomas the Goblin, who caught a sword. The episode ended with The Shadow King back in power, and the goblin knights and soldiers of the throne room were all killed.

Under the Shadow King

With the Shadow King on the throne, the surviving goblins served him drinks and grapes and lived in fear of the throne room (Under the Bottom). The work stayed dangerous. In Swindlers, a goblin named Hagrid (or Hagrad) was bopped and carried out on a stretcher, and an unnamed music goblin was killed. The cleanup crew went about its business, and Thomas was mentioned as one of the Grandmaster’s favourite goblins.

In The Hunt, ten goblin workers prepared the arena and brought in The Acolytes. Two were named. Henry had bruised shins and was given a marigold for his trouble, and the other was Lucy.

By The Dragon and the Spider, the whole staff was bald after a lice outbreak a couple of weeks earlier. They treated the arena’s techno as soul music and drank the keg, both from the floor and from each other. One goblin kept the notepad of arena rules. In Dried Blood they were unionized once more, each with a pet chinchilla.

When the Arbiter returned in Vythorn’s Return Part 3, the goblins serving the arena rushed at him the moment he drew his dagger. They fell straight under his mind control.

The Season of Fate

The goblins worked just as hard in the Season of Fate, the vision of rule that only The Arbiter lived through. In Rise of the Lord of Fate they were introduced as “showing up for the first time.” They carried Atlas off on a canvas and rebuilt him in the locker room.

Through the rest of the season the work never stopped:

• In American Amphibian they were said to be “getting a little fat,” and they ran out a tiny curtain so Richard Knottley could change his mustache in private.
• They supplied the champagne, and bought the reserves, in Ducks of Death.
• In Graveyard Grudge they were missing from their chores at the start, then turned up to hand out goggles and prepare the corn dog cannons.
• They were bundled up for the cold in BoneBound Brawl, where each goblin got a pet chinchilla with pet insurance.
• As the arena crew in Imitation Game, they dragged off the dead, defibrillated them, drew faces on them and shampooed their hair.
• In Froggy Style they worked on the body of Bofus.
• By the Chaos Royale, the Fortress’s servants included what were called the FDA tactical division and the IRS.

The Season of Vigilance

The goblins were still on the job in The Cheese, bringing parchment. The chinchillas handled cleanup, and one of them brought the pizza.

Personality and Abilities

The goblins are small, numerous and endlessly put-upon. They do whatever job the Fortress needs that day, whether it is toilet cleaning, catering, construction, stagehand work, rough medicine or reassembling dead champions. Their skill doesn’t always match the assignment. They decorate poorly, their train runs slowly, and their cheesecake is a matter of record. Still, they are fiercely loyal, or at least fiercely employed. They have rushed a returning Arbiter, and kept serving through the Shadow King’s reign of terror.

They have a strong collective streak. There is a Goblin Union, a history of jealousy and uprisings, and a deep bond with their pet chinchillas. A few have stepped out of the crowd: the rent-paying swordsman Kenny, the frightened HR, tiny Nathaniel, the Grandmaster’s favourite Thomas, bruised Henry and Lucy. Some of them fight, like the kidnappers in the floor tiles and the throne room’s goblin knights and soldiers. Most of them simply survive, which in the Dread Fortress is its own kind of talent.

Relationships

• Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer: Their employer and queen. They hold her snacks, shake her hand in long lines, and she has favourites among them.
• The Shadow King: The ruler they served drinks and grapes, living in fear of the throne room.
• The Arbiter: The goblins rushed him when he returned with a dagger drawn, and he took over their minds.
• Chinchillas: Their pets, owned and beloved, and later fellow members of the cleanup crew.
• Doug the Pug: The goblins take care of the Grandmaster’s pug.
• Cosmonius: Followed everywhere by his personal “tech goblins.”
• Kenny: A goblin with a scimitar and rent to pay.
• Thomas the Goblin: A goblin who stood out in the Season 3 Finale; a goblin named Thomas is one of the Grandmaster’s favourites.
• Lethe: Had a flask and hand axes stolen by a kidnapper goblin.

Memorable Quotes

• “Kenny’s got to pay his rent.” (A Lovers’ Quarrel)
• “because they have to” (Battle for the Crown Round 2), on why the goblins applaud
• “getting a little fat” (American Amphibian), on the state of the staff
• “two lines of goblins” (Snow-clad), lined up for the Grandmaster’s handshakes

Appearances

• S2 Ep19, Battle for the Crown Round 2 - Team Grandmaster (Cosmonius & Locket) v Team Arbiter (Silky Slim & …
• Playtest 4 (Pre-Launch) — Mudcat Mahomes v Thunk
• Magic — S1 Ep2 — Mageic v Amren
• S1E4 — Multiclass — Kleen v Ivanna Kishu
• S1E5, The 2v2 - Chuck Solid Gold Dragon Biff & Richardo v Steely Dan & Thass’Lok
• S1E7 — Wild Magic — Strako v Zayliss
• S1E8 — Fireballs — Grorx v Lord Xiren
• S1E11 — Gift Horse — Cosmonius v El Hada Rocha
• S1E12 — Feast — Potato v Dinkledink
• S1E13 — Snow-clad — Highfrost v Bryltyn
• S2E3 — A Lovers’ Quarrel — Lethe v Sorry
• S2E8 — Father’s Love — Dadrith v Baron Voltágè
• S3E1 — Kill em with Kindness — Lumos the Spark v Ferndell Ironwind
• S3E3 — Couples Therapy — Chade v Kairen
• S3E7 — Severed Limbs — Cress v Chedrick McDougan
• S3E15 — Sunday Slam — Belet v Derick
• S3E17, Season 3 Finale - Soot Mustam v Huey Leatherface
• S4E2 — Under the Bottom — Richardo v Evah
• S4 Ep3, Swindlers - Griff v Cappin Fodder
• S4E6 — The Hunt — Witch Hunter v Grickle
• S4E16, The Dragon and the Spider, Ricky Red Dragon v Traxton (Spider)
• S5E1 — Rise of the Lord of Fate — Atlas v Killy Yesman
• S5E6 — American Amphibian — King Man Frog Bofus v Richard Knottley
• S5E7 — Ducks of Death — Robbie Clark & the Hunger v Bob the Barbarian
• S5E8 — Graveyard Grudge — Granny Edith v Teddy Oso
• S5E10 — BoneBound Brawl — King Bofus v Bone Daddy (and Darcy)
• S5E12 — Imitation Game — Kopy Katt v Ragu
• S5E14 — Froggy Style — Kyle Stoddard v King MAN FROG Bofus
• S5E16, Chaos Royal (Season 5 finale), the first Chaos Royale (four-way)
• S7E4 — The Cheese — Sila v Ol’ Pumpernicklejack
• Skypiercer Part 3 (finale)
• S4E17 (Season Finale) - Vythorn’s Return Part 3