First appearance: S6 Ep6 — The Hunt for #2 - Part 1 — Team C (Frigidum, Bob the Barbarian, the Duke) v Billy · watch it on YouTube
The Duke is a rat man magician with a curled mustache, a cloak and a hat that holds far more than any hat should. Thea recruited him to the Dread Fortress’s hastily assembled Team C. Over two episodes he hunted a werewolf, betrayed his friends the moment it was allowed, called in nuclear strikes, lost a leg to a gator, and was eaten alive by a refrigerator. He is the self-proclaimed “saint of shit,” a master improviser with stage fright, and he has made it very clear that he wants the Arbiter’s throne.
Story
The Hunt for #2, Part 1
The Duke’s story began with a crisis in the kitchen of The Dread Fortress. In S6 Ep6 — The Hunt for #2 - Part 1 — Team C (Frigidum, Bob the Barbarian, the Duke) v Billy, Goblins, Chinchillas and Thea had drunk every drop of alcohol in the Void’s kitchen, including the Grandmaster’s not-so-secret stash. To win back her performance review, Thea assembled a team through her portal. First came Frigidum, a fridge exposed to radioactive waste, then Bob the Barbarian, and finally, after the Arbiter pointed out she had so far brought him “like half of a person,” a bewildered rat. “What? What is this? Where am I?” he asked, and then, on seeing his new teammate: “Oh, Lord, oh, Lord… that’s a big, big, big fridge.” When the Grandmaster explained she was looking for three brilliant individuals, the Duke asked whether he would be supplying the brains, and she offered the team full employment as “the sword of the Dread Fortress.” He also asked for a bathroom made entirely of cheese, which sent the Arbiter off to consult “our cheese guy.” When Frigidum wanted a touchscreen, the Duke rummaged in his hat, pulled out what might have been underwear and what might have been ten rats, and finally produced a tablet.
The team was sent to Emmery’s Tavern, where Emmery explained that his “patented number two ale” was in short supply because someone had been wrecking his bar and ripping out his customers’ throats. The Duke took up Bob’s oath to fight as “the Duke of Dookie,” though he privately confessed to Frigidum that he had never performed for more than three people. The Acolytes were watching through a transparent ceiling. A one-eyed fox at the bar agreed to talk only if the team could outdrink it. The Duke had drunk “the smelliest of sewer waters” but never alcohol, and the ale hit him like gasoline. He saw four fridges (“There’s as many fridges as there are testicles”), left a slab of shit on Bob’s shoulder, and pulled a second Ratman out of his hat so he would have four ears. The terrified fox took this for wizardry and kissed his toes.
“Yes, please bow before the saint of shit.”
The fox handed over a clump of coarse black and gray hair. Through a lot of Zippo-waving and a little help from the dragonborn card players, including Tabitha, the trail led to Billy, a bald regular who visited every two weeks and was sitting in the back room. An entourage of the Duke’s rat people tidied his new mustache, which Bob and Frigidum glued on with the werewolf’s own hair. The Duke then led a conga line of rats into the back room. As the second moon began to pass, Billy became a werewolf. The Duke suggested he could look better “with a little bit of goop,” and the fight was on. He spent the first round being worked over by his rat cornermen like a boxer, then tried a card trick (Billy drew the Tower, and the Duke botched it), a shotgun, a katana and pocket sand. Only the pocket sand landed, and his rats tossed him in the air like they had won the World Series. His anime-style shit bomb and a rocket launcher pulled from his own head both missed. He looked up at the crowd and asked whether the game was rigged. Thea then gave him the gold star Frigidum had given her. “I have my first fan,” he declared. The rocket missed anyway. Bob finally finished Billy with the Ultimate Denim Gator. When Thea announced that the team’s leadership would be settled in a Deathmatch, the Duke did not hesitate: “Oh, fuck your friendship. I’m killing both of you.” When Bob called him a rat bastard, he shrugged: “It’s in my nature.”
The Hunt for #2, Part 2
In S6E7, The Hunt for #2 - Part 2 (season finale). Team C final - Frigid Doom v Bob the Barbarian v the Duke, the Duke arrived back from a week in Duval to “grace the masses with my magic and my, well, fecal matter as usual.” That fecal matter held a couple of enemies’ corpses and several cheeses, one of them from 1832, because cheese ages like wine. When Bob promised to find his ass and kick it, he pulled a loaded diaper from his hat and put it on. The fight took place back in the wrecked tavern, and he was ready for it. When Frigidoom swung at him twice, he wrote a new rule on the spot forbidding it: “It is canon now.” His diaper turned out to be laced with metal and broke the nose of Bob’s Ass Jaguar. He threw a rat trap baited with Coors Light, sent a crew of overall-wearing rat repairmen into Frigidoom’s back panel, and gave Bob a souvenir plushie gator that screamed “Duval!” and exploded into biting rats.
The second round was his best. Bob had just opened a Florida sinkhole beneath him, but rat spotters with binoculars called in two nuclear strikes on Frigidoom, and both landed, which made the Grandmaster bow and apologize for nearly skipping his turn: “You have what it takes.” A giant New York hood rat in size 16 Tims and gold chains followed, firing two Glocks at Bob (“Feel the power of Brooklyn”). Bob hit back in the next round with crystal meth punches, which the Duke took openly (“It’s addicting. I must have more”). He had a rat swap out Frigidoom’s ice for meth, then threw one shit-covered fist at Bob’s asshole, which bounced off his jorts (“Nobody gets through my jorts into my asshole except for me”). Then Bob’s gator Denise bit off his right leg.
Hopped up, covered in shit and one leg short, the Duke awakened as the Shitlord. He glowed gold, his hair turned from brown to blonde, and he hurled a shit bomb that slid straight off the oiled-up Bob but hit Frigidoom. When The Box of Chaos crashed into the tavern, he Spartan-kicked it open. The hand inside objected strongly to having its house kicked in, scoffed at his offered ball of shit (“I’ve seen bigger”), and gave him smelling salts. He then asked the box to scoot over so he could get a clear shot with his bazooka. His last big play was the New York combo: a pizza, a Mets fastball and a subway train. The train came in so fast it ran over his remaining foot. “I’m broken, I’m bloodied, but I’m not out yet! My heart’s still in it!”
Soon afterwards, Frigidoom threw the legless Duke into his fridge and ate him. As he died, he remembered being a little rat child who dreamed of leading an army in the name of the one true king, the Shitlord, whom he revered as a deity. He saw that he was no Shitlord and no magician, only “a simple rat man in a single outfit bought from a dollar store.” His rat minions went in with him and infested Frigidoom’s insides. “Why the hell is there a turkey sandwich in here? Whatever. Goodbye. I will return eventually.” From among the Acolytes, his spirit gave Frigidoom a Gundam-style tune-up, finally delivering the touchscreen Frigidoom had asked for in the first episode and pitching it to the crowd at $399. When Bob won and the Grandmaster revived the team, the Duke pulled a flag from his hat showing three dongs connected, for the newly named Triforce Dong Danglers.
Personality and Abilities
The Duke is a rat man in a hat and cloak with a curled mustache. He says he comes from the streets of Brooklyn and the sewers of New York City. He is grandiose and twitchy in equal measure: a “master improviser” who suffers stage fright, a magician whose tricks often fall apart, and a schemer who is open about his betrayals. He loves shit, cheese and ham, which is his favorite food, and he wears a chastity belt. He has “76 lawyers on deck,” all of them rats, and he keeps “business plans, business plans, and business plans,” including selling his rivals’ bones on the black market.
His power is his hat, and occasionally his cloak or head. Out of it come rat entourages, cornermen, repair crews, spotters and Molotov throwers, along with shotguns, a katana, a rocket launcher, artillery, nuclear strikes, a bazooka, a hood rat with Glocks, and the whole New York combo of pizza, fastball and subway. He dodges well, sometimes with full Ultra Instinct theatrics, and can awaken as the golden-glowing Shitlord to throw his shit bomb.
Relationships
- Bob the Barbarian: Teammate, sworn brother and rival. The Duke vowed to solve the mystery of Bob’s four testicles, then lost a leg to Bob’s gator.
- Frigidoom: Teammate who calmed his stage fright and later ate him. The Duke repaid him from beyond death with a touchscreen.
- Thea: Recruited him, and became “my first fan” when she gave him her gold star.
- Billy: The werewolf the Duke helped hunt down, after insulting his looks.
- The Arbiter: The target of the Duke’s planned uprising.
- Grandmaster Elusia Skypiercer: Hired him, doubted him, then bowed to him after the nuclear strikes.
Memorable Quotes
- “Yes, please bow before the saint of shit.” (The Hunt for #2, Part 1)
- “Did you rig it? Like, is this a sick game to you all?” (The Hunt for #2, Part 1)
- “Oh, fuck your friendship. I’m killing both of you.” (The Hunt for #2, Part 1)
- “It is canon now.” (The Hunt for #2, Part 2)
- “Life has many doors and many holes… You missed the wrong hole.” (The Hunt for #2, Part 2)
- “I hope you’re listening, Arbiter. I’m coming for your soul and your throne soon.” (The Hunt for #2, Part 2)